Bigger not always better

Watching "The Soup," a hilarious round-up of the week's highlights in trashy television, I saw a clip recently from the gossip show "Extra" where the reporter interviewed a woman whose breasts had been surgically enhanced to the size of watermelons. She simpered and posed while the camera zoomed in on her newest assets.

This particular story didn't make the international media (sorry, "Extra"), but I ran across another boob-related article making its way around the world. First reported by the China Daily and later picked-up by a South African Web site, the story reports on a 24-yearold Chinese woman who underwent breast augmentation, then discovered a second pair of breasts growing on her abdomen a year after the surgery. The bonus breasts grew so large she had to have them removed. (The article also mentions the surgery was carried out "at a small beauty salon." I'm not pointing fingers, but I don't know that I'd want my hairdresser performing my operations.)

Of course, it’s easy to talk about botched boob jobs; nothing makes for good drama like bigger breasts gone awry. But what about all those women who love their surgically-enhanced frames? It turns out, there are legions of them. A quick Google search of “breast augmentation personal stories” reveals dozens of Web sites like justbreastimplants.com and breastimplantinfo.com, where women wax poetic on their newer, bigger bosoms.

Conveniently, many of these sites are sponsored by plastic surgeons, and some even feature a “What Men Think” section (designed to push the waver-ing woman over the edge). On implantinfo.com, one male poster writes, “While the tastes in sizes may vary by individual, (I personally prefer an ample bust line), all men like firm and perky not flat and saggy.” He concludes, “I am as excited about my wife’s decision to get a BA (breast augmentation) as she is.” Another man titles his post “Guys are dogs” and writes,

“While I would never ask her to put herself through surgery just to give me more to admire, there is the St. Bernard in me PANTING HEAVILY at the suggestion that she was going to have breast augmentation surgery.” At the end of his post, he says, “And while she would tell you that it was the best thing she has ever done for herself, I will tell you it’s the best thing she’s ever done for us.” As a matter of fact, many women cite saving their marriage as a motivation for going under the knife (or to the beauty parlor, if you’re in Hunan province).

That’s not to say all breast surgery is the product of confidence issues; some women undergo corrective surgery after mastectomies or other medical pro-cedures. But there is evidence to suggest a correlation between breast enlarge-ment and low self-esteem:

Women who have implants are three times more likely to commit suicide, according to an article referenced in USA Today.That’s a scary figure. It suggests that boob jobs are Band-Aids over bigger issues. Perhaps if women invested more in their self-worth and less in their fake physiques — and men reeled in their ridiculous expectations — we could all work on build-ing better (and not just bigger) relationships.