NEWS OF THE WEIRD

It could never happen here

An exceptionally cold winter brings more instances of the annual tragedy of young boys (rarely, girls) who could not resist the age-old physics experiment to see what would happen if, in sub-zero temperatures, they tried to lick a metal pole. In fact, it happened on successive days: a 10-year-old in Hammond, Ind., on Jan. 14 and a 6-year-old in Omaha, Neb., on the 15th. Both episodes ended badly, with traces of the boys' tongues left on the poles.

It did happen here

Also in January, police in Cape Coral, were seeking LaKeitha Watson-Atkinson for shoplifting from a TJ Maxx. The thief escaped after running from store security, but not before she was knocked down twice by her getaway car. In the commotion, a check made out to Watson-Atkinson fell to the ground.

Family matters

. Evelyn Poynter, 86, had refused for months to leave her apartment in Pittsburgh and move in with her sister, Laura Stewart, 72, who had offered to take care of her. In December, according to police, a fed-up Stewart forcibly wrapped Ms. Poynter's arms, legs, neck and body in duct tape, tossed her in the back seat, and drove her home to Shaker Heights, Ohio. "There was nothing sinister," said Ms. Stewart's daughter, but still, Ms. Stewart was arrested.

. In October, police in Elgin, Ill., said they were investigating an accusation that after a 13-year-old boy and girl broke off their relationship, the girl's mother ordered the boy to reconcile with her daughter by threatening to release nude photos of him that her daughter had taken.

The rental society

Among the services available by the hour in Japan (according to a January BBC dispatch) are:

. Quality time with a pet (about $10 an hour at the Ja La La Cafe in Toyko, usually with dogs or cats but with rabbits, ferrets and beetles available).

. No-sex quality time with a college coed (flattering conversation by the hour at the Campus Cafe, less expensive than the geisha-type houses).

. Instant relatives, actor stand-ins for times when the real ones can't attend things like weddings and funerals, from the I Want To Cheer Up agency in Tokyo. They also know the cues to portray fathers to help single women with their parenting duties, or to portray husbands to help women practice for the routine of married life (except for sex).

Parental responsibility

. A father took his 20-year-old son to an Islamic court in Bauchi, Nigeria, demanding that he be jailed for idleness, which he said has shamed the family. The court immediately sentenced the son to 30 lashes and six months in prison.

. A court in Seoul, South Korea, fined the parents of a teenage rapist the equivalent of about $60,000 for their negligence in raising the boy badly. The 18-year-old himself is serving a 10-year sentence for the crime.

The cave dwellers

Twenty million Chinese have their residences in caves, but that is often not a bad deal, according to a McClatchy Newspapers dispatch from Miaogou Village. In addition to the obvious advantages (e.g., no mortgage), some caves have been in the family for generations and have electrical wiring, plumbing and cable television, and some are part of communities of connected caves. Researchers said that earthen insulation keeps the inside temperature from dropping below about 55 degrees Fahrenheit even in the dead of winter.

Political correctness update

. The student association at Carleton University in Ottawa, Ontario, voted to eliminate a cystic fibrosis organization from the list of charities it supports, explaining that since the condition almost exclusively afflicts white people, it was not "inclusive" enough to merit student funding.

. Britain's Oxford University Press announced the latest changes in its highly selective "Junior Dictionary," finding room to add dozens of words, including trapezium, alliteration and incisor but eliminating, for example, bishop, chapel, christen, minister, monk, nun, parish, psalm and saint. The publisher said the changes reflect Britain's "multicultural, multifaith" society.

Get your goat

When Saudi Arabia held its first goat beauty pageant in September (the country has long held camel pageants), the distinctive Najdi breed, featuring high nose bridges and silky, shaggy hair, took the top prizes. In fact, most of the goats in the competition had the same father, Burgan, whose progeny typically fetch the equivalent of $25,000 and up. Burgan himself did not appear at the pageant, according to a Reuters dispatch, because his owner feared that a jealous competitor would have an "evil eye" cast upon him.