The mummy debates

In her 2007 novel "The Yummy Mummy," British author Polly Williams begins with a dramatic line. "It's just as well that I stopped caring whether men looked at me after that," says the story's thirty-one-year-old protagonist and new mother, Amy Crane. "Now I can weave through crowds without the slightest sexual ripple. Like a woman in her sixties, perhaps, or in a burka." The story charts Amy's path as she grapples with her new babycentric identity, struggling to maintain her looks and personality as she slips away from her previous fabulousness. "After years of blasting my salary on blow-dries and beauty counters," Amy laments, "now my monthly grooming budget….amounts to little more than the price of a Chanel nail varnish." Amidst all this frumpiness, Amy is taken under the wing of Alice, a "yummy mummy" who packs her days with Pilates courses and beauty regimes.

Just what is a "yummy mummy"? The online urban dictionary puts it succinctly, "An attractive older woman or an attractive mother." Another entry goes into more detail, "Glamorous girls who shop and lunch their way through pregnancy, proudly displaying their little bumps like the latest designer handbag… Yummy mummies disguise bleary eyes with Gucci sunglasses and recommend pregnancy to female friends as a fabulous way to detox."

Of course, not every new mom has the time (or the budget) for yummy mummihood. As a matter of fact, I'm going to guess most new moms have hardly any time at all. Hence, the rise of slummy mummies, that group of women perennially decked in sweat pants and stained t-shirts. Another British writer, Helen Kirwan-Taylor, has tackled this issue in a recent article for the Daily Mail Online. "Why DO babies turn so many brilliant women into slummy mummies?" she asks in her title (and I cringe, anticipating her hate-mail). She goes on to say, "Why is it that when so many women become mothers they turn into boring frumps with one-track conversational minds that rarely stray from the oh-so-fascinating subjects of nurseries, nappies and (lactating) nipples. These women infuriate me."

While this article is certainly interesting, what's truly revealing are the readers' comments. Surprisingly, many of the women responders agree with Kirwan-Taylor's assessment. Catie from Little Elm, Texas, writes, "My grandmother had a bit of wisdom she passed down and that was 'Never, ever, let yourself go.'" The men, too, mostly agree with what Kirwan-Taylor writes. "If women want to keep their husband, they must keep him happy," says Alan from Brighton. "YES to staying toned, properly made up, heels and stockings, making him feel like a real man in bed and out of it. NO to track suits, smelly t-shirts and trainers, unshaven legs."

But poster SarahJayne has the best observation. "Take the 5:15 p.m. from Liverpool Street into Essex any work night and you will see the train full of overweight balding badly dressed fathers and husbands. Why is it men let themselves go so frequently, like they no longer have to be sexy for their wives? They don't even have the excuse of having to look after 2 or 3 little ones everyday." Perhaps while we're worrying about all the slummy mummies, we could inspire the sloppy fathers as well.